When disaster strikes, people often ask themselves the wrong question, 'Why did this happen to me?” Or “What did I do to deserve this?" Instead, they should be asking themselves, "What can I do about this?"
It's only natural that, at first, to feel crushed and inadequate, and maybe a little resentful, too. Most people turn to family and friends for support, feeling that they can’t cope alone. But those feelings won't help you climb out of the gloom, and there is a limit to what other people can do for you, especially if you refuse to help yourself.
Pull yourself up every time you begin to think negatively – you are only attracting negative conditions into your experience. You will soon learn that life is neutral toward you, neither refusing you anything nor bringing anything to you without your consent, but always responding to your inward convictions when you definitely assume the leadership. Nature is abundant but it will never override your free choice in the matter. The secret to becoming master of your own destiny is through the power of positive thinking and correct imaging. It won’t work for you even if you are saying all the positive things under the sun unless you hold a picture of the desired outcome in your mind as well.
All of your beliefs go into creating your outer circumstances. And the adage: “As ye sow, so shall ye reap,” bears much pondering. Others also attract to themselves similar problems associated with their own inner thinking processes and experiences and wonder why their life is not working as they think it should.
If you can take a page out of the book of nature, and expect one thing to follow another in ordered fashion, you will take a different viewpoint to the one that has been entrenched within you and begin to relax and let things flow as they should. We do not see any delay in nature – night follows day, the stars come and go and the sun always rises and sets. Likewise with the seasonal changes – summer always follows spring and winter always follows autumn. Babies arrive on time, plants always sprout from seedlings and flowers always open up from buds. Everything flows in natural rhythmic cycles.
The solution lies within you, and you will find it by deliberately turning your mind inside and connecting with your Higher Self. You may receive information about some new venture, finding a new interest to absorb your time and energy, or it may have no immediate bearing on the problem that you're facing, and carry no instant healing for the wound. But what will be given will start the process and you will be given assistance in helping you look at what you might need to change before any progress can be made. Sometimes it will be a tremendous boost in building up your resistance, confidence and courage so that you can lift your energies to prepare you for the things ahead. Perhaps the loss has been financial or emotional, or maybe a mixture of both. The main bread-winner of the family loses his job; you find yourself suddenly single, faced with the trauma and distress of divorce, or bereft of the companion who loved and supported you; your children leave home. One way or another, your supports seem to have been knocked from under you, similar to an injured man having his crutches kicked out from under him.
Under these circumstances, of course you're entitled to sit down and shed a few tears, to turn to friends for sympathy. But one day you must pick yourself up, and set about making a fresh start. You won’t know for sure how it will turn out. You can only be certain that you'll never know unless you make the effort to move forward. But as is so often the case when people are forced to make a change, it turns out to be the best thing that could have happened, and they are far happier than they could ever have anticipated in their darkest moments.
I've known many people who have coped with just such threats to happiness as I have mentioned above and found, to their own surprise, that they have emerged into a different kind of sunshine and have taken a different life path.
Should an unforeseen blow happen when you're younger and more vigorous, find some project, or some opportunity to join like-minded people in some common aim, to do something where you can contribute and where you will fulfill some need. If you have spent your life caring and comforting and guiding others, being deprived of the opportunity to do this often hurts the most, yet the need can be fulfilled in other ways, outside the home.
The first step is to think about what talents you have and how you can put them to good use or what time you have to give. Every charity in the land needs willing, voluntary workers, and anyone who undertakes this sort of work will tell you that the rewards far exceed the effort. There may be some national project that interests you, such as preserving wild life, or assisting in greening the local area. Or closer to home, your practical skills could make you invaluable backstage at a dramatic society.
Of course, no one really expects you to forget completely your worries, nor ignore any grief you have suffered. But the important thing is never to allow yourself to come to a full stop. Life is a flowing current, and you must keep up with it, helping it to run more smoothly by reason of your own special qualities, gifts, personality, and spiritual wisdom.
The Higher Self sees no obstructions. You are of its nature, and do not need to encounter unnecessary obstructions. Begin expecting something good to happen during the course of the day – and learn to look for it; it might not happen immediately because of your mental conditioning or grief, but if you learn to think in this manner, you will begin attract into your life the things that are yours by divine right and so fulfill your destiny.